‘Left-Behind’ Pet Article Sparks Debate Among Evangelists

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By GG Qlarq

foreclosurepets-abandonedThe Hewdge article about a group of atheist animal lovers, who for a fee, promise to look after any ‘left-behind’ pets, after their Christian owners have been taken up to heaven or “raptured”, has sparked a firestorm of debate among our evangelical readers

The article, posted on Saturday, features the American website: http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com

To follow, a few of the letters Hewdge has received.

What the hell kind of fag blog-site are you running anyway? Jesus!!! Who the hell is interested in Eternal Earthbound-Pets services, fer chrissakes?! As a hetero-practicing Christian, who is due to be paroled next month, why in hell would I let a commie-liberal-nancy-atheist take care of my best friend?”
F**k that website…..Hewdge mistake! Amen

BIG JOHN McGRAF, Birmingham, Alabama

I think Eternal Earthbound Pets is a wonderful idea and I believe God will forgive those atheists (in some small measure) for their good works.  I have already signed up Ginger for the scheme, because I’m worried he might get stuck up a tree when I’m not around
ROSETTA STOWNE, Prioria, Illinois

I’m not sure about this scheme  – can we Christians really trust people like atheists to be honest and look after our beloved pets when we’re sitting at God’s right hand? After all, these people are self-confessed sinners. I think I would rather leave my pet with the Confucians up the road (as long as Mr Kim Yeong and his family promise not to cook and eat my little Bobby in a curry after I’ve gone)
JEREMIAH QUINTIN BELL lll, Jacksonville, Florida

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Atheists Offer To Care For Christians’ Pets After The Rapture

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By Matthew Moore www.telegraph.co.uk

It’s a question that all animal-loving Christian evangelicals must address: who will look after their pets on Earth when the Rapture comes and they are taken up to heaven?

rapture_1471615cBelief in the Rapture is widespread among US Christians Photo: REUTERS

Now a group of atheists in the US have come up with a tongue-in-cheek solution, offering to take in the cats and dogs of “saved” believers in return for a small fee.

All the atheists signed up by http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com are self-confessed sinners and blasphemers, guaranteeing they will be left behind when the chosen are selected Continue reading

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Why Do Some Brits Fail In America? Posh Responds

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Victoria Beckham, wife, mother and controlled eater, responds to critics’ claims that some Brits are failing in America (see previous article below)

victoria_beckhamWhy do some Brits fail in America? Well, I don’t  fink they do fail. Jus cos my David ‘as been ‘aving an ‘ard time in LA lately, it don’t mean that we’re failures. Jus cos we don’t say fings like, “ave a nice day” and “I’ll ‘ave jelly wiv that turkey sandwich”, it don’t mean we ain’t genuine people.

I fink it’s a language fing. It’s gotta be, ain’t it? If my David learned to talk wot I call ‘proper American’, he could ‘ave ‘em Yanks eating out of his ‘ands. But, cos we don’t ‘suck up’ as them Yanks like to call it, we ‘ave to take a lots of stick from ‘is fans.

When I was invited to be a forf judge on that American Idol show, it was up to me to show ‘ow cultured us Brits could be.  If you dress proper and you talk proper, like wot I do, you can dazzle them Yanks. My formula for success is: “Jus’ be yerself an’ throw up after every ‘All You Can Eat’ special.” It ain’t rocket science.

Posh Beckham

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Why Do So Many Brits Fail In America?

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After Clashes With His US Fans, Is The Odyssey Of David Beckham Bound To End In Jeers?

US-UK....Is The Love Affair Over?

US-UK....Is The Love Affair Over?

David Beckham planned to crack America. Two years after his triumphal arrival in Los Angeles, however, the suspicion is that it might be America that’s cracking him. By Luke Leitch via www.timesonline.co.uk Continue reading

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French 007 Tells Of Great Escape From Dubai Wearing Wetsuit Under Burka

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Via www.dailymail.co.uk

A former spy convicted of fraud in the United Arab Emirates has told how he made a bid for freedom by donning a wetsuit disguised under a burka before diving into the ocean.

Frenchman Herve Jaugbert, an ex-naval officer, alleges the Dubai secret police had threatened to insert needles up his nose and that he was about to be thrown in jail for a crime he didn’t commit.

Herve jaubert escape from Dubai
Disguise: Former spy Herve Jaubert donned a wetsuit under a burka in order to escape from Dubai

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Foul Language Prompts Letter From The Editor

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parental-advisory-21We admit we have a Hewdge problem with foul language. As a reputable source of news and information, Hewdge has a responsibility towards its readers for the site’s content. Since we published Helga Hewston’s memorable Beirut interview with hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg (see interview below), we have been inundated with complaints over the foul language or lyrics that Mr Dogg used to express his feelings for his girlfriend.

While admittedly there were a good many references to the word ‘bitch’ in his love song, Snoop Dogg apparently toned down his descriptions to appease his Middle-Eastern audience and readers.

According to his manager, Jeff Kwatinetz, Mr Dogg is often far more ‘colorful’ when it comes to describing women.  Mr Kwatinetz defended Mr Dogg’s interview style and commented that: “This is little more than a fiasco. Snoop used the word ‘ho’ only once!”

Hewdge would like to remind readers that while care is taken to minimize any nasty or unpleasant words on our website, freedom of speech must prevail.

To all Hewdge readers who wrote in complaining about the nasty and unpleasant words, I would like you to compare the rantings of another Beirut visitor, hip-hop singer, 50 Cent, who said:

You shouldn’t throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth, cause I’ll break yo face”

with the gentler, more philosophical musings of Snoop Dogg, who said:

When I’m no longer rapping, I want to open up an ice cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.”

G.G. Qlarq

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Snoop Dogg On Life, Love And Lebanon

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Bad-Boy Rapper "keepin' it real"

Bad-Boy Rapper "keepin' it real"

Snoop Dogg, America’s favourite hip-hop superstar, award-nominated rapper, record producer and actor, is in Lebanon for his debut concert at the Forum de Beyrouth.

Snoop Dogg, who grew up in a tough Californian neighbourhood, or ‘hood’, is known for his bad-boy lyrics or ‘gangsta’ rap. He also popularized the slang term and catch phrase suffix “izzle”, as in a television show he hosted called: Doggy Fizzle Televizzle.

Before his appearance in front of thousands of devoted fans, Helga Hewston, reporter with HEWDGE, Beirut’s leading blogsite, was allowed an exclusive interview with Snoop to talk about love, life and Lebanon.

HH: Pleasure to meet you Snoop… Or do you prefer Mr Dogg?

SD: Hey bitch, fo’ shizzle dizzle, its the big neptizzle with the snoopy d-o double gizzle!

HH:  Well, um, just let me translate that for our Hewdge readers. Snoop is actually saying:

“Hello my dear.  Absolutely you can call me Snoop Dogg”

Now Snoop, what are your first impressions of Beirut?

SD: Helga baby, Beirut is THE place, you know what I’m sayin’? They don’t make no bigger party place….this is IT, this is happenin’, you know what I mean, bitch?

HH: ……So anyway….. what message would you pass on to all your adoring fans in Lebanon?

SD: Fo’shizzle, ain’t nothing to it, but to do it! Have you seen my doggumentary y’all?

HH. No

SD: What do you wanna know, baby? I dont wanna go back to the streets selling drugs or  shootin’ no people, you know what I’m saying?

HH: Um, absolutely. Is there a future Mrs Dogg in the pipeline….a female Dogg…a Bitch, in fact ?

SD: Fo’shizzle, baby! My Beirut trip has in-spired me to write a love song to my bitch back in the hood, know what I’m sayin?

HH: Can we hear it? Do-You-Know-What-I-Am-Saying?

SD: Yo, Helga! Ain’t nothing to it, but do it…..

(At this point Snoop starts rapping)

Yeah man, this is another Beirut classic
We wanna dedicate this one, to all the fellas
who got a hardhead bitch, who just won’t listen
Y’know? The best thing to do, is leave her
Don’t hit her, shake that ho (bitch I’m gone!)

Bitch I’m gone.. oh yeah bitch I’m, oh I, I got to get the, hell outta here
I can’t get through to you
I can’t get through to you, you talk too much, I can’t tell you shit
Bitch, I’m gone.. oh yeah I’m goin’ I got to get out
I’m through wit’chu
Oh yeah, I’m through wit’chu bitch, yeah yeah

HH: It’s hard not to feel the love, Snoop……

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Snoop Dogg Appears Live In Beirut

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Beirut, LEBANON — It’s official, American Hip Hop superstar Snoop Dogg is arriving in Beirut for one of the biggest rap concerts the Middle East has ever seen.

Billboard in the streets of Beirut. Photo by Habib Battah

Billboard in the streets of Beirut. Photo and article by Habib Battah

Snoop will be performing for the first time in the region this Thursday at the Forum de Beyrouth and my mission will be to get a few words from the Godfather himself on camera. On a Lebanese radio advertisement promoting the show, Snoop says, “That’s right, I will be in the Middle East, bringing peace, like a beast! Continue reading

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