Victoria Beckham, wife, mother and controlled eater, responds to critics’ claims that some Brits are failing in America (see previous article below)
Why do some Brits fail in America? Well, I don’t fink they do fail. Jus cos my David ‘as been ‘aving an ‘ard time in LA lately, it don’t mean that we’re failures. Jus cos we don’t say fings like, “ave a nice day” and “I’ll ‘ave jelly wiv that turkey sandwich”, it don’t mean we ain’t genuine people.
I fink it’s a language fing. It’s gotta be, ain’t it? If my David learned to talk wot I call ‘proper American’, he could ‘ave ‘em Yanks eating out of his ‘ands. But, cos we don’t ’suck up’ as them Yanks like to call it, we ‘ave to take a lots of stick from ‘is fans.
When I was invited to be a forf judge on that American Idol show, it was up to me to show ‘ow cultured us Brits could be. If you dress proper and you talk proper, like wot I do, you can dazzle them Yanks. My formula for success is: “Jus’ be yerself an’ throw up after every ‘All You Can Eat’ special.” It ain’t rocket science.
Posh Beckham
Who’s calling Becks and Posh failures!!?? My god she made $8.000.000 just last year. What’s your beef? Oke she’s a frosty twig who can’t sing and he’s merely a very mediocre soccer player and the dollar isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on but hello… they’re Tom and Kathy’s best friends and that’s no chicken poo. Oke!?
Thank you so much for your response, Helga. I’m afraid I have to point out that my name is Giussi, pronounced Juicy, and not Guissi, pronounced Gweesi, or Greasy in babytalk, as you wrote it. A typing error, or a comment on my person?
If you persist, I shall have to call you Ms Hewtsynn van Hwedge in future.
Now to content: why are you devoting so much of your talent to that boring former spice girl who married a footballer and became anorexic, instead of telling us what M Jackson was doing in Bahrain? Wasn’t he skinny enough to merit your attention?
Yours, Hotten