Superman Quits Being American

6ff95_54885Via Huffington Post

Since he crashed down from Krypton 1938, Superman has been as American as apple pie. With the wind rippling over his red and blue costume as he flew through the air, through comic books, TV shows and movies, the Man of Steel has served as a prime representation of all things to which America aspires.

Now, in a time of great international turmoil, Superman is giving up his national identity.

In “Action Comics #900,” Superman will renounce his American citizenship, rejecting the international notion that his actions are part of US policy. The shift comes after a personal visit to Iran in support of protestors leads President Ahmadinejad to believe America was declaring war against the government in Tehran.

By rejecting his citizenship, Superman will now work on a grander international scale, because, as he says, “truth, justice and the American way… it’s not enough anymore”

Whether this impacts the upcoming Superman franchise reboot film “Man of Steel,” remains to be seen, but it will most certainly take the legendary hero in a new direction.

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Death Of Guru Sai Baba Creates Financial Vacuum

sai_babaThe death of a charismatic Indian guru, Sathya Sai Baba, who built up a worldwide following of up to 50 million people, has triggered an unholy scramble for control of his £5.5 billion empire. (click here to read more: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/8471134/Sathya-Sai-Babas-death-triggers-fight-for-his-5.5-billion-empire.ht

Below, well known Indian guru, Swami Ramdev Yadav, pays tribute to the enigmatic Sathya Sai Baba with an open letter to Hewdge.

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Namaste

It is with very regret and heaviness at heart that I am relating the deathly news of Sathya Sai Baba – a holiest guru and a manly man who was a beloved to many worshiping and sometimes celebrity peoples.
Yet, at this very current moment, the news is being so full of dastardly stories of Sai Baba that I am not believing my own very eyes and ears!
Rapscallion reporters are delighting to spread untruthfulness about Sai Baba and in particularly, his dalliances with many lovely boys. But this I am knowing absolutely: no such naughtiness was occurring in his ashram! This is shamefully gossip! Sai Baba was humble, and truthfully a holy man who was not just for thinking of riches. No, it is the OPPOSITE!!  Sai Baba on very much occasions was giving money and gold to others. In fact, his own billions in a Swiss banks was having no meaning to this very saint!

Since his present incarnation is no longer, I am freely to offer Sai Baba’s devotees my expertise of much financial techniques. Especially, I am full of happiness to take over Sai Baba’s gigantic empire. Like this humble of man, riches have no meaning for me also when I am flying by my private jet to the Swiss.

Namaste
Swami Ramdev

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MOAMMAR’S BOYS

gaddafi-qaddafiResponding to the news that Colonel Moammar Gaddafi uses body doubles to help confuse his enemies, roving reporter, Helga Hewston, manages to track down one of the Colonel’s so-called ‘Moammar’s Boys’ in Libya. In this first interview, conducted in a fast-moving military jeep, Helga talks to Gaddafi look-alike, British national, Jihad Nihad of Peckham, south London.

Helga: Mr Nihad, how long have you worked as one of the colonel’s body doubles?

Jihad: oh, let’s see…about 6 weeks now…Oh, shit..luv…hold on….have to address my fans..
ONLY THOSE WHO ARE TRULY INSANE CANNOT LOVE ME, OH MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS!!”
By the way, call me Moammar or Colonel Gaddafi while I’m on duty, OK?

Helga: yeah, whatever….so tell me Jihad, what were you doing in Peckham before you came here to pose as Gaddafi?

Jihad: I was the chief hair stylist at the Peckham Health & Beauty Spa…wait one sec…have to really shout this out…
YES, MY PEOPLE, WE WILL FILL THE STREETS WITH THE BLOOD OF THE BETRAYERS!!!!!”
Er…so what was I saying, luvvie?

Helga: Don’t call me ‘luvvie’. Does working as the Colonel’s body-double pay well?

Jihad: yep. Did you see that faaabulous picture of me on the cover of the Guardian?

Helga: No.

So..anyway……where is the REAL Gaddafi at this moment?

Jihad: Oh, you’re good, Helga, you’re very good…

Helga: Well….? Where is he???

Jihad: Let’s just say that right now, my clients back at the Peckham Spa are complaining about what a BITCH I’ve become…

Helga: you mean……? Gaddafi..?….in Peckham….???

Jihad: think I’ve said enough luvvie….Moammar’s the word!! ooh, look!!..great hordes of fans coming my way…where’s that bloody megaphone..?
LIFE WITHOUT DIGNITY IS WORTHLESS – DEATH TO THE TRAITORS!!!”


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