| Adam Smith
The Lebanese Daily Gazette Three Men Go Missing in Lebanon– International reaction
Last evening, a British national, a person who claimed to be Lebanese but could not speak Arabic, and a European looking man who claimed to be Lebanese also were kidnapped in Bourj , after dinner in an average local restaurant. Police have termed it ‘’suspicious” and have labeled them as potential spies for Israel. Israel responded that all their spies were currently busy in Syria, and claimed that they had no interest in invading Armenia, ‘’The Lebanese Security Forces should be called the Insecurity Forces, all they do is hang around and smoke on street corners. They have issues’’ stated Israeli Knesset member Mr. Ehud Goldenstein. Opposition leader Hassan Nasrallah called on the army of god to chop of the heads of these three Israeli spies in the Bourj. The British Embassy responded ”we are monitoring the situation. We are aware of a missing British national, but to our knowledge, he is not Jewish and usually goes missing on a frequent basis” On the same topic, the ISF received an anonymous phone call from an Armenian sounding taxi driver, demanding that his fare of 6000 LL was not paid, and that he is holding the suspects until he is paid with interest. He also claimed he was verbally abused by the European looking blonde, sexually by the person who he claimed was not Lebanese, and physically by someone he claimed was a ‘’strong domestic worker’’. The US state department issued a warning to its citizens, stating ”this is an attention-seeking ploy by Hizbollah, and that US citizens should stay away from the Bourj and bad taxis” The EU had no comment to make, whilst Iran claimed that they were missing a taxi from their borders. In the mean time, the Lebanese embassy in Cairo received a suspicious envelope with a ”broken tooth” with a note stating ”we is wanting 6000LL”. The story continues…. Adam Smith The Lebanese Daily Gazette _____________________________________________________________ Lebanon’s canine revolution: Scores of dogs take part in Martyrs Square rally
BEIRUT 4th October: Martyrs Square in Downtown Beirut has through the years witnessed gatherings where millions of Lebanese protested, rallied or simply came together in bids to change their country for the better. Chants were replaced by barks on Sunday as a different breed of campaigner descended on the square: more than 100 dogs from Lebanon’s largest animal shelter They were joined by animal-rights activists, boy scouts and volunteers, who staged a mass walk in Beirut – organized by Beirut for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (BETA) – to mark World Animal Day 2009. More than 60 countries around the world marked the event, with demonstrations taking place from New York to Nepal. BETA president John Barett said that Lebanon had a long way to go before it could claim to endorse animal welfare “We just want to [make sure] that Lebanon is in conformity with the rest of the world,” he said.
“The older generations are always telling their kids not to go near dogs, so as they grow up they will do the same with their children,” he said.
“It’s a big day for the rest of the world and we want to prove that Lebanon is linking with everyone else.”
Joelle al-Massih, co-founder and general manager of BETA, said Sunday’s event was designed to inform the public about animal rights in Lebanon.
“Our main goal is to raise awareness to get people to treat their dogs better, not to just buy dogs and dump them afterwards. They need to handle the responsibility [of keeping a pet],” she said
There is a single law regarding the treatment of animals in Lebanon – a LL10,000 ($6.66) fine for killing. BETA has been lobbying since its inception five years ago, pressuring government and policymakers to update this archaic legislation.“This law was from the old days, but it has not changed,” said Massih. “There are no new laws. We need new legislation regarding pet stores and the smuggling of wildlife. At the moment people can torture animals, and no one does anything about it.
Last month a 2-year-old lion cub was found abandoned in an alleyway in Karantena after its owner failed to procure official documentation. Cases such as these are common in Lebanon, where wealthy businessmen import exotic species to keep as pets, according to BETA. We have huge problem in Lebanon. Animals are abused and tortured in this country. It needs to change,” said Massih. “[In] the pet stores that we have, the smuggling of wild animals has all become too much. The streets are overloaded with [stray] dogs and cats.”
At the start of the summer, senior Shiite cleric Ayatollah Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah issued a fatwa authorizing the killing of stray dogs in Lebanon. The edict was given following dozens of complaints from residents of Nabatiyeh, who claimed to have witnessed a number of attacks by animals there.
BETA member Rima Barakat said the organization is inundated daily with phone calls regarding stray animals.
“We cannot take in every animal that we find on the street, although we would love to. We take care of them and try to find them homes,” she said.
Barakat explained BETA’s method of capture-neuter-release, which ensures that individual stray dogs cannot reproduce. Animal rights campaigners say this is a more ethical and way of dealing with Lebanon’s estimated 40,000 strays.
“This way we can control the overpopulation,” said Barakat.
Barett said that education was a key route through which animal rights awareness could be achieved.
“There’s a big turnout today, particularly among young people. We’re very keen to get young people involved with animals,” he said.
Animals are sill neglected by Lebanese authorities and, in spite of international coordination for World Animal Day, BETA needed special dispensation from the municipality of Beirut in order to hold Sunday’s walk.
“We have to go through legal procedures – we can’t just gather and go,” said John.
Organizers said they hoped the event would prompt Lebanese legislators to begin drafting new animal laws.
“We are really working hard on the laws; I wish [policymakers] would understand that dogs matter,” said Massih.
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THE LION OF BEIRUT
To follow, a personal account from a BETA member: Beta members staged a ’sit-in’ and ‘all night vigil’ in the surrounding abandoned/dilapidated buildings - the stench in the air was unbearable due to the neighbouring public waste disposal plant, but this was the only way to prevent the lion being transported elsewhere by the owner. We had to do this until we could obtain an official Court order the next morning transferring him to our temporary custody and control. This was a particularly difficult task in the absence of Animal Protection Laws in Lebanon and, as far as we are aware, a groundbreaking legal decision was made enabling an NGO to take away an animal from its owner due to maltreatment.
Beirut, August, 2009
Want to say goodbye to your ex but don’t know how?
Read our sample letter, then write your very own
‘Dear John’ letter by changing the words in bold. It’s easy!
- “Of course I still love you….”
Sample Letter
Dear John
Just a quick note to tell you how much I have appreciated your special friendship over the last few weeks; it’s been real…
John, may I be forthright? You’re a super guy, but I feel I can no longer give you that extra attention you deserve (if you know what I mean….), as I currently have no free time and definitely no spare energy.
Speaking of energy, did I mention that I, and my new Best Friend Brad, will be traveling extensively for the holidays?
So big apologies, but won’t be able to give you back any time soon, the Best of Brass Band CD collection, and the nurse’s outfit you so kindly lent me. But don’t worry, John, I will prepare a box with those items and all your other kind gifts and return them to you the SECOND we get back from the Caribbean.
Anyway John, have to rush and get ready for my strenuous evening ahead……I don’t really feel like going out tonight for a swanky dinner at that new Michelin-star Restaurant, then on to some hot dancing at Club 54, but what can I do, John? I’m just a gal who can’t say “no”…
I’m sure we’ll bump into each other on the pub/club circuit, John, and I certainly look forward to telling you about my latest adventures and this FAB new method that Brad and I have discovered for coping with stress (if you know what I mean….!)
Love,
Martha
PS I know it sounds like a cliché, but I love you John – I really mean that!
_______________________________________________________________________________________
CHIMERISM – A Strange Tale
Via www.wisegeek.com
Chimerism is an extremely rare disorder that mixes the chromosomal population in a single organism. In these cases, chimerism may manifest as the presence of two sets of DNA, or organs that do not match the DNA of the rest of the organism. In some cases, hermaphroditic characteristics, in other words, having both male and female sex organs, can be signs of chimerism. Alternately, small patches of DNA can be present throughout the body.
Chimerism tends to occur very early in the embryonic development. It is often the result of two non-identical twin embryos merging together instead of growing on their own. Although the condition is very rare, with only about 35 people in the US being identified as having chimerism, it tends to get attention from popular media.
Both the television shows, House and CSI have featured episodes dealing with chimerism. In the 2006 episode of House, a young child is found to have microchimerism, small patches of non-matching DNA that are causing the child to become ill as his body rejects the foreign DNA.
In CSI, a suspected criminal has two sets of DNA, one existing in the lower half of his body. Thus his DNA does not match samples found at a crime scene, though other evidence proves him the killer. When the suspect is identified as having chimerism, he is found guilty.
Such cases may make for interesting television, but real cases are seldom identified. There was one legal case involving a woman with chimerism, who was proven not to be the mother of her own children. Later discovery of embryonic cells with different DNA disproved the earlier DNA results.
The number of people with chimerism may not be entirely accurate, since many with chimerism may never show any symptoms that they have other DNA present. Chimerism is most often noted in those considered as hermaphrodites, but not all hermaphrodites have chimerism.
In rare cases, the DNA that produces organs may cause organ rejection or failure if the rest of the DNA in the body attacks the organ as foreign. The odds of this happening are extremely minute.
In some cases, chimerism may be the deliberate result of scientists attempting to mix two species. In one case, scientists successfully produced a goat/sheep mix. They have also been able to produce a chimera quail/chicken. Most often these attempts fail, and if they do work, the animal produced is often sterile.
When scientists attempt to produce chimerism, they are actually merging embryos of two animals. They are not mixing the egg of one species with the sperm of another. That process is more common, more successful and is called hybridization.
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Mensa Invitational: Winners: Washington Post
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Beware of Men in Dresses
Beware of men in dresses
Who feel the need to pray
EXCEPT those wearing make-up
(Or, if they happen to be gay!)
Avoid all men in dresses
Unless they are in Drag
And mince around in high heels
and call themselves a ‘Fag’
Steer clear of men in dresses
Whether Clergymen or Lay
They wear gowns whose very fabric
Society should FRAY!
Run a mile from men in long frocks
Be they Bishops, Priests or Popes
UNLESS they are Cross-Dressers
and act in Prime-time Soaps
If a man you know wears dresses
UNFROCK him or say “Bye”!!
‘Cos if he shuns a wig and lip-gloss
Then I fear…..the END is NIGH!!
Helga Hewston
__________________________________________________________________
DARWIN AWARDS OUT
- “Don’t Try This At Home” – Charles Darwin
The Darwin Awards are finally out. The annual honor given to the persons
who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the
most extraordinarily stupid way
Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine
which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda
out.This year’s winner was a real rocket scientist… HONEST!
Read on…And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE
STORY.And the nominees were:
Semifinalist #1
A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk..
Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the
fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house
down, killing both him and his sister.Semifinalist #2
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
when another plane approached. It a appears that they decided to moon the
occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft
and crashed.. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
around their ankles.Semifinalist #3
A 22-year-old Reston , VA , man was found dead after he tried to use
octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax
County police said Eric Barcia, a fast food worker, taped a bunch of these straps
together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle
at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a
police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car
was found nearby. ’The length of the cord that he had assembled was
greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,’ Carmichael said.
Police say the apparent cause of death was ‘Major trauma.’Semifinalist #4
A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The
friend – no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate – was hospitalized.Semifinalist #5
Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell
of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing
all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights
worked.
Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians
reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette
lighter.Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse
exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of
the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the
explosion.
The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of
as ”bright” by his peers.Now, the winner of this year’s Darwin Award (awarded, as always,
posthumously):The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal
embedded in
the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The
wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally
pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist…. had somehow
gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid fuel rocket)
that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra ‘push’
for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out
into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the
JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the
1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles
from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted
asphalt at that location.The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust
within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph
and continuing at full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds.The driver, and soon to be pilot, would have experienced G-forces
usually reserved for dog fighting F -14 jocks under full afterburners,
causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.How ever, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about
2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the
brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface,
then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff
face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the
rock.
Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable.
However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from
the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of
debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground
speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on
the ground.
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