Want to say goodbye to your ex but don’t know how?
Read our sample letter, then write your very own
‘Dear John’ letter by changing the words in bold. It’s easy!

- “Of course I still love you….”
Sample Letter
Dear John
Just a quick note to tell you how much I have appreciated your special friendship over the last few weeks; it’s been real…
John, may I be forthright? You’re a super guy, but I feel I can no longer give you that extra attention you deserve (if you know what I mean….), as I currently have no free time and definitely no spare energy.
Speaking of energy, did I mention that I, and my new Best Friend Brad, will be traveling extensively for the holidays?
So big apologies, but won’t be able to give you back any time soon, the Best of Brass Band CD collection, and the nurse’s outfit you so kindly lent me. But don’t worry, John, I will prepare a box with those items and all your other kind gifts and return them to you the SECOND we get back from the Caribbean.
Anyway John, have to rush and get ready for my strenuous evening ahead……I don’t really feel like going out tonight for a swanky dinner at that new Michelin-star Restaurant, then on to some hot dancing at Club 54, but what can I do, John? I’m just a gal who can’t say “no”…
I’m sure we’ll bump into each other on the pub/club circuit, John, and I certainly look forward to telling you about my latest adventures and this FAB new method that Brad and I have discovered for coping with stress (if you know what I mean….!)
Love,
Martha
PS I know it sounds like a cliché, but I love you John – I really mean that!
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Beware of Men in Dresses

Beware of men in dresses
Who feel the need to pray
EXCEPT those wearing make-up
(Or, if they happen to be gay!)
Avoid all men in dresses
Unless they are in Drag
And mince around in high heels
and call themselves a ‘Fag’
Steer clear of men in dresses
Whether Clergymen or Lay
They wear gowns whose very fabric
Society should FRAY!
Run a mile from men in long frocks
Be they Bishops, Priests or Popes
UNLESS they are Cross-Dressers
and act in Prime-time Soaps
If a man you know wears dresses
UNFROCK him or say “Bye”!!
‘Cos if he shuns a wig and lip-gloss
Then I fear…..the END is NIGH!!
Helga Hewston 2009
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you’re hilarious, vicky!