Hewdge

31st March/1st April

Lambing Day

Traditional Lambing Day Glocks

Dates: 31st March/1st April
(Celebrated on March 31st when Easter falls in March and April 1st if Easter falls in April)

Origin: Spring rite dedicated to Celtic fertility goddess Eostre

Lambing Day is celebrated throughout Britain and Ireland at the end of March/beginning of April. Originally an ancient Celtic fertility rite, Lambing Day celebrates the coming of spring and the birthing of lambs. Traditionally, on this day, people wear special socks on their hands called ‘Glocks’ (a combination of gloves and socks) to represent lamb hoofs. Public parties, bonfires and songs signify the end of winter, and gifts of knitted glocks are exchanged among friends and family, in the hope of bringing luck to the wearers.

In Ireland it is customary to raise your glass with the toast: “Gluck!”,  a shortened version of “Good Luck!”

Often called ‘Imbolc’, the Celtic name for Lambing day, the ancient rite is celebrated with a mutton stew, followed by ‘apple hooving’, a game where apples are thrown, caught and eaten by those wearing glocks.

Nowadays, Lambing Day is celebrated less in towns and cities, but is still a major event in country villages, where is it said that those who catch the most apples in their glocked hand, will have a life-time of happiness with their partner.

Traditional Lambing Day Song: Springtime Has Come In

Springtime h a s   c o m e   i n ,
L o u d l y   s i n g ,   C u c k o o !
T h e   s e e d   g r o w s   a n d   t h e   m e a d o w
b l o o m s
A n d   t h e   w o o d   s p r i n g s   a n e w ,

S i n g ,   C u c k o o !
T h e   e w e   b l e a t s   a f t e r   t h e   l a m b
T h e   c o w   l o w s   a f t e r   t h e   c a l f .
T h e   b u l l o c k   s t i r s ,   t h e   s t a g   f a r t s ,
M e r r i l y   s i n g ,   C u c k o o !
C u c k o o ,   c u c k o o ,   w e l l   y o u   s i n g ,
c u c k o o ;
D o n ‘ t   y o u   e v e r   s t o p   n o w ,

S i n g   c u c k o o   n o w .   S i n g ,   C u c k o o .
S i n g   C u c k o o .   S i n g   c u c k o o   n o w !

BEIRUT, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15th

Dear Readers

Last night I had the pleasure of attending a ’soirée’ – an evening of gentle cultural immersion, hosted by the gracious contemporary artist and patroness of the arts: Dédé Hourani.

This delightful event occurred in Kaslik, where thanks to Dédé, there exists a cultural centre ‘devoted to creating a space that brings together artists, thinkers and music-lovers.’ The Centre is also Dédé’s musée privé and houses a vast collection of icons and artifacts. Superb….but I digress…

The soirée consisted of three parts: the first, an introduction via power point presentation, to past musical events; the second, the musical event itself – an autumn concert, dedicated to the works of Haydn and Mendelssohn, and the third, the reception, where canapés, drinkie-poohs and polite conversation made the rounds. Dear readers, I will confess, it was hard not to be astounded by the civility of it all.

So how did Helga get an invite one may ask?  And one may answer: connections…connections…My editor GG Qlarq, is quite green with envy, but as I remind him gleefully, in this line of work, one must take the smooth with the rough..

BEIRUT, OCTOBER 7th

Dear Readers,

On the first Wednesday of every month at the Cafe Younes, a poetry group called the BTWOP meets and lets loose mostly angst-filled prose and verse on its members. Picture a cozy, cramped space, an ‘iffy’ microphone and you get the idea..

Naturally, it’s a perfectly splendid way of spending a Wednesday night and not to be missed, even more so this week when an AUB professor came up with a commentary on an international ‘quality of living’ survey.

Beirut at 175  or, Thank You, Baghdad.

‘The annual survey on the quality of living in 215 cities around the world ranked Beirut as the 175th most desirable city for overall living standards …….’

So drones the piece in the Daily Star.

What, 175th? Haram. This can’t be right.

Which city is number one?

Vienna – Vienna?

The first city for the third man.

Rococo, ordered, smug, nazi-loving Vienna.

With its well-padded burghers in loden coats and felt hats with silly feathers on them.

Stomachs filled with schnitzel, strudel and artery-clogging schlagsahne.

OK so Vienna has mountains, but Beirut has mountains……

…..… and the sea.

Beirut has the Corniche……..even if it doesn’t have the elegance of the one in Nice.

In fact, you may miss the fresh sea air completely as your nostrils are assaulted by the bitter sweet stench of the narguile’s and a faint whiff of sewage.

But the views, the sunsets, those seductive summer nights………

Beirut may have buildings pock-marked with bullets rather than decorated with chubby putti supporting unlikely loads.

But go to Gemayzeh.

Crumbling oriental charm, the over-powering scent of jasmine.

The girls (oh my! The girls) strutting their heels,

Boys pimping their wheels.

The dancers in the Aweht Azzeiz swaying to the mystical sounds of oud and tambour.

Would you swap this for the banale plucking of zithers in Harry Lime’s funfair?

So who did Beirut at number 175 manage to beat?

Lahore, San Pedro Sula (second city of Honduras in case you are interested), Almaty (in Kazakhstan, winter minimum temperature -30 C.), Tehran, Algiers, Sanaa.

And, yes, at number 215 and dead last – poor, bloody, unloved, Baghdad. – Laurence Leigh

Beirut, Thursday, September 17th

Dear Readers
Much has happened since my last entry. Beirut is still hot, but not politically, so all is well. Last week in the Downtown area of Beirut’s Solidere district, I lingered over coffee with Lebanese writer and sharp observer of human nature – Diamond Walid. Diamond is a fabulous talent and writes occasionally for the UK’s Guardian Newspaper on various aspects of gay life in Lebanon and the Middle East. Click here for his latest article:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/aug/31/lebanon-gay-rights

Diamond and I have a friend in common – a drag artist called Sister Queen From Mars. Sister Q is a Beiruti institution and is available for hen/stag nights, weddings and charity balls, events at which she has surprised, delighted and shocked her audiences over the years.
I first set eyes on her when she appeared at a British charity dinner – Trafalgar Night, as she made her grand entrance dressed as the ‘beast master’, complete with whip and attached by a chain to her stage partner (the beast), who was on all fours at the time. Hmmm….

.Beirut, Sunday, August 23rd

Dear Readers

Back in Beirut and assigned the most exciting interview with superstar rapper, Snoop Dogg…What a marvelous man! I interviewed him amid clouds of smoke, exotic ’skunk-like’ aromas and frozen Mars Bars. Anyway, I don’t like to boast, but the interview went very well (apart from the coughing) and I think my readers will be able to see where Snoop is coming from, spiritually speaking.
His manager was very pleasant and started giggling whenever I asked Snoop a question…In fact, when I left, all of Snoop’s staff were rolling around on the floor laughing. What fun people! Felt strangely hungry on the journey home….

Somewhere Over Europe, Thursday August 13th

On an Air Cyprus flight to Beirut, dear readers, and who should I happen to sit next to on the plane? I’ll tell you – a seemingly harmless American lady, but when we start chatting, it turns out she is a fan of Sarah Palin, the ex-governor of Alaska and mother to five strangely-named children. Luckily, I was armed with this month’s issue of Vanity Fair, which happened to have an article on this very lady. As we flew over the Alps, I thought I had a chance of persuading my dear fellow traveler that Sarah P is “not very nice” , but gave up on that bitch of a fellow traveler somewhere over Greece….What an Air-Head!

Amsterdam. Thursday. 6th August

Miss Licious Proves Amsterdam is NOT an “immoral cesspool”

Dear Readers

My interview with drag-queen supreme ‘Miss Didi Licious’ has been delayed. I do however have this very glamorous photo of her coming out of a portable street toilet. Always a lady, she would, of course, never allow her picture to be taken inside the water closet. This, my dears, is class – as opposed to some vulgar queens who will do anything to get noticed. You can visit Didi’s website at: www.dilicious.webs.com, a site she describes as “as camp as Christmas”

Have just heard that Amsterdam is a ”cesspool of corruption and crime”. Well, that’s what some outraged presenters at Fox news, an American right-wing news channel, are saying about Holland’s glorious capital city. Imagine!  Am so thrilled by this revelation that I have included the blog and video (see below)

“Amsterdam is a cesspool of corruption and crime. It’s immoral…it’s anarchy!”

If you believe Bill O’Reilly and Fox News, that is. They’ve been fond of claiming that that very liberal European nation’s experiment with tolerance and personal freedom is a complete failure, that the Netherlands is collapsing in anarchy. So an Amsterdam resident made a short clip documenting cultural armageddon.

That was beautiful, an extremely effective rebuttal. If the Netherlands is in decay, the comparison of the statistics between that country and the US must mean that Bill O’Reilly really despises America.

Now I want to move to Amsterdam.

by PZ Myers via scienceblogs.com

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Hello Dear Readers
Remember my editor asked me to write about a new Paris Hilton movie called ‘Paris Not France’? Well I endured the Empty Heiress’ MTV documentary, which was shot three years ago and focuses on the Hilton brand. Apparently the film attempts to reveal the ‘real’ Paris. Not surprising then, that it took her a while to get up the courage to release it (snigger, snigger). The airhead actress exclaims:

“At first I was shy to release it. I didn’t feel comfortable, but over the years, I’ve really grown as a woman” (shouldn’t that be ‘groan’ dear?)

My editor, GG Qlarq has offered me a new assignment: interviewing one of the…um..beautiful ladies in the recent Amsterdam Drag Queen Olympics. Fine by me, although I’ve never been fond of chest hair

Amsterdam

Sunday, August 2nd 2009

Dear Readers

Have decided to keep a diary, as live such an exciting life. As Hewdge’s roving reporter, I get to interview grabby little starlets like Paris Hilton and Victoria Beckham. Hewdge’s editor, G. G. Qlarq, has asked me to write a review of a new documentary called ‘Paris Not France’ about the Hilton Has-Been. Wow, that’s an original title – how did you come up with that one, Paris?

Don’t worry about answering that dear, it’s a rhetorical question…